I’m a doer. My husband is not. He likes to methodically think through every step of a project while drawing it out before he proceeds. I like to start and see how it all pans out. Both methods have their upside as well as downside.

My husband tends to lose whatever piece of scratch paper he drew his master plan on. He often has to start over because he lost his plan or try to make it from memory. For instance, we are covering the steel beam in our basement ceiling with some beautiful wood. He planned it all out, measure and re-measured. It took a few days to get the plan just right. Then he had me order the necessary lumber for delivery. That was last spring. He is just now starting the project. He cannot find his plans, so he tried putting it all together by memory. Halfway through the project, he does not have the correct pieces of lumber based on the plan in his memory. Clearly his original plan was different from what he now remembers.

On the other hand, I tend to dive right in and start without thinking too far down the line. If I think too far ahead, I become overwhelmed. In my case, it was a bathroom remodel that went awry. I love the tearing apart of any project and threw myself into pulling up tile, taking down the medicine cabinet and removing towel rods. I had the whole bathroom taken apart before having the new tile, vanity or toilet. This was a problem for a family of 4 now having to share one small ½ bath until I could at least get another toilet.

When it comes to working as a team, we work best without each other. If we try to work together it inevitable ends up in an argument. I don’t have the patience to wait around while he drinks 10 cups of coffee as he makes his master plan. For the most part, it appears to me that he is staring at the ceiling as he thinks, and this drives me mad.  I typically leave the house during this phase of the operation.

Since he gets completely freaked out when I start tearing things apart without thinking it through. I do this when he is away on a fishing weekend or hunting trip. I don’t always tell him what my plans are until after my demolition is done and he returns refreshed and relaxed from his trip. Ta Da! Look honey, we are going to remodel the kitchen.

Our plan usually ends up being a multi-tiered effort. He plans, I tear apart and then he builds, and then I come in and do the finishing work. It serves us well to stay out of each other’s way. It might not look like teamwork, but it is. Each member of the team has their designated part to play. It’s not like dancing where both partners move in sync. It’s more like soccer where we pass the ball back and forth as we head towards the goal line.


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