Having and Getting More

I tend to get reflective around the new moon and this month’s new moon was no different. I woke up feeling a little dreadful. I had intended to sort through my attic and donate some things but didn’t have the energy. I kept having this thought that I needed to clear out the old to make room for the new.

As I looked around the attic I realized that I really like most of the stuff and I didn’t want to get rid of it. We were in the middle of finish our basement and the attic would be our next focus. I have ideas about having some guest rooms and perhaps an office and bathroom in the attic at some point in time. It wasn’t going to happen right away, but the things I was considering donating could be useful once that attic is complete.

I felt sad about this. How could I bring in more abundance if I’m not clearing out the clutter first?

As I had the day off, I spent some time taking a walk, meditating and generally lollygagging around. It felt great to have a day that was filled with literally nothing. But I had this nagging questions going around and around my head. How can I bring in more abundance if I’m hanging on to old stuff?

Towards the end of the day I laid down in the grass and looked up at the sky. It was a clear blue with no clouds at all. The temperature was just right at around 76 degrees and there was a gentle breeze. It felt good to lay there just staring into the sky. I started to relax and just lay there enjoying it. My body relaxed, my mind relaxed and I just stared.

After a while a thought came to mind: What if I kept what I had AND embraced more?

Me: What?!?!?

Universe: Yeah! You can keep what you have AND want more.

Me: WHAT?!?! Are you saying I can keep what I have (because I love it) and still be eligible to get more stuff?

Universe: Yes. That is what abundance is. There is no limit to what you can wish for and have.


I was dumbfounded and lay there for a long time letting that roll around in my head. I can have what I already have AND ask for more. I don’t have to clear out and get rid of anything. I can simple have it all.

As a (somewhat) minimalist this just blew my mind. I had always practiced clearing out. I felt like it was very important work to ‘get rid of’. But sometimes I regretted what I got rid of and eventually re-purchased it. It was wasteful and stupid. I had this rule that if I wanted a new pair of shoes I should let a pair I already had go to make room.

To think that I could keep what I already have AND get more was crazy! But I realized that feeling like I had to get rid of things in order to have more was like believing the universe only had so much to give me, that there was a limit to what I was allowed to have. This is the exact opposite of abundance. It was the very epitome of lack. I felt underserving to have more. While I was working on my mindset around abundance I had actually been believing the opposite.

I had convinced myself that there was a limit to what I was allowed to have. That is was an either/or decision. But true abundance is having ALL the things I want.

I spent the rest of the day letting this roll around in my mind. I can keep what I have AND ask for more. What a beautiful idea. I will work on graciously accepting all the gifts I receive.


We Can Do Hard Things

The big question right now is whether or not our kids will go back to the classroom as they have done so many years in the past.

My first reaction is “For the love of God, NO! Don’t make me ‘homeschool’ my kids again.”

It was hard. It was stressful. I run a business full time. I have a house to maintain. Helping my kids with their schoolwork is a terrible idea. They will fail under my guidance. I am not a good teacher. I lack the patience and knowledge. I forgot everything I learned when I was in 7th grade.

But we are healthy, and I want to keep it that way. It is my focus, my aim. It is the thing I use for making all my decisions right now. When I keep that in focus, my ‘why’, I can hear the music que up like Rocky climbing up the stairs and pumping his fists in the air. This is a marathon and I will run it. The whole course. Not giving up.

I can do hard things. I am strong. My mind is clear and open to learning middle school math.  This is just a season in my life. In this season I am required to do hard things. I do not need to worry about what everyone else is doing. Other people may make choices I do not agree with, that is o.k. It is their right. I will stay in my lane, focusing on my family.

I will have days where I fail, but I will continue the course. Focused. I will do my part to keep my family healthy and strong. I will say a prayer every day for the school staff and all the other parents as we face this interesting school year.

We are a team, a community. When one of us does well, we all do well. When one of us needs a hand up, we reach out. When we all protect the health of our families, we are protecting the entire community. Be strong. We can do this!


Sleep Update

Sleep Update

After weeks of trying everyone’s recommendations, two things stand out the most:

1. Melatonin is my new best friend. But I have to mention that I am having the strangest dreams. Is it because I am sleeping more soundly or because melatonin is giving me ‘night trips’?

2. Sleep hygiene is key (thank you Sue). I turn all my technology off an hour before sleep. I don’t drink any liquids after 8:30 p.m. so I won’t have to use the restroom during the night. I don’t watch tv (especially the news) before bed. I”m drinking a lot less alcohol.

I really appreciate everyone’s input. I am feeling like a new person these days.

Benefits of good sleep:

1. I am making better eating decisions.

2. I feel more emotionally capable of handling my day

3. I have more patience.

4. I have energy for my daily walk or workout.

5. I am a kinder person.

6 . I look better.


Measuring Time

There is a little Inn our family liked to visit. We have been going there for years. They have a great outside dining view of Pine Lake in LaPorte, Indiana. The Blue Heron Inn is not a very big place, but just the right size for our family of 4.

My kids have especially loved it for the swimming pool. Both of my kids love swimming in the pool, so even though it’s a very short drive for us, we like to spend the night at the Inn and the the day by the pool.

At the deepest part, the pool is only 4′ 6″ deep.

I can remember the first time going there. The kids had to wear their life jackets because neither one could touch the bottom and still have their head above the water. I had to be in the pool with them because they were so young.

It took a few years before they were good enough swimmers that even though they couldn’t touch bottom I felt o.k. letting them swim without their life jackets.

We went there this past weekend to relax for Father’s Day. Even before we were unpacked the kids were rummaging for their swim suits and getting ready to go to the pool. They were excited to get in the water and cool off from the 90 degree day.

My daughter jumped in first and was swimming around excitedly. She went towards the deep end of the pool and stood up. She was shocked she could touch the bottom and have her head above the water.

She yelled to get my attention and showed me how she could stand there in the deep end of the pool with her feet flat on the bottom and her head well above the water.

What?! Wait, how did that happen? How did she grow so tall? In the blink of an eye, she went from bobbing around in her life jacket to standing in the deep end of the pool.

I could measure the times we swam here by how she had grown and where she could touch bottom of the pool. I was proud, sad, freaked out, excited, and sad (again) all at once. How did this amount of time go whizzing by so fast? Where was the little toddler wobbling around in her swim diaper?

She is growing into an pretty amazing your lady. My heart is full. Thank you Blue Heron Inn and T-Bones for so many great memories. Happy Father’s Day.