Category: Mind

I find myself making comments about how tough it is to have my kids at home. But I secretly love having my kids home all day.

 

I was lucky enough to raise my kids at work with me from the time they were born. They did not leave my side until pre-school. It was hard. I was taking care of customers, answering the phones, returning emails while managing breastfeeding, changing diapers, and cuddling my kids.

 

I loved it then and I love it now. Even though I barely know they are here because they are in their rooms on their computers, I feel their presence and I love it.

 

Today I was feeling particularly blessed. I was reflecting on my son going away to college in a few years and I could not help but think to myself how awesome it is that I am gifted these extra hours of having him under my roof.

 

Sure, it is tough. My kids eat so much. I tell myself I will only shop once a week and in two days everything is gone. I understand the toilet paper hording. I was already prepared but with everyone home it is going fast. I wonder what the budget for toilet paper is for our school system. I cannot imagine.

 

I’m glad Covid-19 hit when my kids were young enough to still live at home. I know they are here with me and I am enjoying it very much. I feel blessed having them under my roof with me for this extra time before they grow up and move out.

I recall the day I told my boss at my corporate job that I would be leaving because my husband and I were starting a boat dealership.

He was alarmed to say the least and gave me a look of deep concern as he stood up to close his office door to talk me out of my silly plan.

He was a Vice-President in our large organization. He was well respected by his peers. He had a big house and nice car, two sons and a wife who had the privilege of staying home.  In his mind, everyone should aspire to what he had achieved.

My day to day experience working a corporate job was not so rosy. I hated my cubicle. I hated being at the whims of my boss. He would often take golf outings with his subordinates leaving me to do a large chunk of their work while they got the credit for it. Me, with no college education doing the work of a VP!

I hated it so much I would often be in the bathroom having panic attacks.  I would squeeze every second I could out of my lunch hour to avoid my cubicle.

I remember my last day. I put the top down on my convertible and took the country roads home. I could breath.

I was scared about my decision. But not panic-attack in the bathroom level. It was a healthy dose of fear. The kind of fear that taught me to listen to my intuition. The kind of fear that says proceed with caution but keep going.

It took a lot of guts to start something from scratch with no experience running a business.  A lot of people thought we were crazy. But that is the kind of crazy it takes if you are going to stick your neck out and go against the grain.

I still have moments of anxiety when making tough decisions. But they are my decisions.

I’m glad I took the chance.

There Will Be Days Like That

Yesterday I had a glitch with my phone and ended on chatting with tech support trying to get it to work properly. The not-so-brilliant support person had me re-set my phone. It wiped out all my settings. I had to re-set my alarms and reminders, privacy settings, etc. To make matters worse the original problem I was having was not resolved.

I was escalated to the next lever of support. I was asked to download the latest update. It disconnected me from the wi-fi and wiped out those setting. The original problem was still not resolved. They were baffled as well.

I was then sent on to the next level of Apple support. Level 3. The ‘when all else fails’ level.

The original problem had to do with badges not showing up for my reminders app.

Within 10 seconds the solution was presented. I had to set a time for each reminder, or the badge would not show up. Something so simple.

I had to reflect on how often I have a tiny challenge that could easily be resolved but blow it up into a giant mess.

One of my biggest faults is how critical I am of my husband. It causes a lot of strong emotions for me. My thought is usually ‘he shouldn’t do that.’ Or ‘why is he always late?’.

I need to remind myself that his actions are not controlling my emotions. What is controlling my emotions is my thoughts. I can choose my thoughts.

Choosing my thoughts requires that I take full responsibility for myself. I would rather things be someone else’s fault, so I don’t have to do the hard work.

But, if my emotions were at the mercy of everyone else, I would never be happy. I would be at the mercy of everyone around me. Being fully responsible for myself gives me power.

It gives me the power to choose happy and although I have to do the work, I grow stronger every day.